We’re almost there

This is a picture of a pregnant woman's torso from the side, holding her belly

The past eight months have been a whirlwind. I can’t believe how fast this pregnancy has gone and in just a few short weeks, our baby girl will be here!

My body has changed and adapted a lot. Some days I hate it, other days I love it. The female body is a pretty exceptional thing, and I certainly didn’t appreciate that until I got pregnant. I wasn’t blessed with that cute “all bump” look, but I’m at peace with that. My hands and feet/ankles are swollen, my skin has seen better days from head to toe, I miss gin and tonics and tea, I miss being able to sleep on my back, and I am seriously exhausted both mentally and physically. Yes, I know the fatigue “actually comes after the baby is born.” Still, with all the not-so-pleasant things pregnancy brings me, it also brings so much joy, beauty, and undeniable excitement. Every time she kicks, she reminds me I’m about to go on the adventure of a lifetime.

This is a photograph of a pregnant woman's body, perched on a fence in a rose garden, facing the camera

Mark and I have been very fortunate to have the time to prepare (some might even say over-prepare) for our peanut. She is so deeply loved already and we are beyond anxious to meet her. We’ve been nesting for a couple of months and I’ve been taking full advantage of not having to work by taking daily naps, going for leisurely jaunts, and catching up on my correspondence. The timing of this pregnancy is perfect in nearly every way and it’s certainly not lost on either of us. While the move and getting life started here in Brookline was scary and stressful at times, the rest of it has been happy and hopeful.

I’ve read a ton of articles, some with more credibility than others, about the horrors of pregnancy, labour, and the insurmountable exhaustion of caring for an infant. I’ve read about all the poop and spit up we’ll have to clean up, about the annoying unsolicited advice everyone will give, and about the dreaded baby blues.  I am very nervous about labour and about taking care of an infant. I know Mark and I are ready and we’re more than capable, but this is a monumental thing that’s about happen. There are a ton of negative stories out there and it would be easy to get wrapped up in them, especially as a first time parent-to-be. I do my best to  look past these horror stories and stick to facts from reliable sources while seeking comfort and advice from friends and family.

Two more weeks, plus or minus a few days, and we finally get to meet her. Then, “let the wild rumpus start!”


Thoughts on thirty

This is a photo of two foil balloons, number three and zero, floating infront of a wood wall, just above some purple flowers

Photo by Johannes, via Unsplash

It happened. I. Turned. THIRTY.  I’d be lying if I said I was looking forward to this day. I didn’t want to be in my thirties. I felt like turning thirty meant leaving “Neverland.” I used to think it meant all the fun would be over and my life would have to revolve around work and saving for retirement and just getting through the days instead of enjoying them. Then  2016 happened. It was a good year. My resume was growing the way I wanted it to, and when I turned 29, I realized I was on track to accomplishing most of the items on my “To Do Before 30” list. I found myself in a great position, as far as being a “millennial” goes ( I actually hate that word). I started feeling more grateful for the opportunities I’d been afforded since graduating from university and began looking forward to the future more than I was fearing it. I still have moments of fear and uncertainty, but that comes with the territory of aging, and I believe those moments keep me humble.

I can’t even count all of the things I’m looking forward to in the years to come. I get to give birth and build an endless bank of family memories, I get to meet new people and work at new jobs, I get to live in new places. Best of all, I’m going to experience all these things and more with the love of my life.

Looks like thirty is the beginning of something amazing!


Father’s Day reflections

Nearly nine years have passed since losing my father to cancer. Nine years. So much has happened in that time, it’s hard to believe.

With my daughter on the way, I think about my dad more often. I think about the relationship we had and how it changed as I grew.  I think about everything he’s missed in the last nine years, and I think about all he’s going to miss. It breaks my heart knowing that my little peanut will never meet her grandpa, but I’ll make sure she knows who he was. I’ll tell her stories of when he took me camping, when he made birthday cakes for my stuffed animals, and when he took me to the emergency room to get stitches (twice). I hope she inherits his infectious laugh, his love of sports, and his tenacity. I’ll show her pictures and videos. I’ll make sure she knows how much he would have loved her.

I also hope to teach her how special her daddy is. I want her to love him, appreciate him, and never take him for granted. Life is too short and family is everything.

I love thinking about Mark being a father. He is going to be an incredible daddy to our girl. He already is! She has no idea yet, just how lucky she is to have such a kind, thoughtful, smart, strong man in her life. I can’t wait to watch them bond and witness such a beautiful relationship.

To all the fathers of today, yesterday and tomorrow, and to all those who are missing their fathers, I’m sending you love and light. Think of your fondest memories with your fathers, step-fathers, fathers-in-law and grandfathers and hold them close to your heart today and always.